don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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