mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
