Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
