Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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