I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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