he laminated a picture of his dick.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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