I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
