question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
everyone is single if you try hard enough
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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