Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
