Fine. I'll sleep in my office
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
