so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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