whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
