after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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