spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This is the prime rib incident all over again
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
