If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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