in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize