you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it because I queefed?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
