Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
