look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
