I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
