If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
