I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
