You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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