The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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