"it" just moved
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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