no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
