butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
