Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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