She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
