best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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