i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
