i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
how drunk are you?
Several
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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