Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
