he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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