After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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