either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Randomize
