I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Randomize
