I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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