Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
