u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
