she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
