i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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