absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
