ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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