i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
