We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
