i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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