Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
