dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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