No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We have started to decorate penises.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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