Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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