If that was your dad, he is hot
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just pee around me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize