just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
