the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
A+ Viking dick
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize