Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
