Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
