the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize