At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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