just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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