wanna go halves on a baby?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we should paint friendship bongs
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
