end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
