That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize