i think my mom watched the whole time
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
